Newgrounds.com — Everything, By Everyone.

I first visited Newgrounds when I was 6. That's the straight up truth. I clubbed seals, I made Dipshit, or whatever the fuck the green one's called drink until it threw up, and I shot the yellow one in the face multiple times. I failed at killing Bear and his faggot friends, but I beat the shit out of those goth pricks. I watched All Your Base, I missed Numa Numa because, well, I suppose I just let it slip by, and I watched Charlie the Unicorn here on a whim, and cried with laughter when they stole his kidney.

9 years later, I'm still here. I've watched sprite movies rise and fall, Brackenwood become the by-word for quality, I watched DBZ in a Nutshell when it first came out, and when Egoraptor hit the big time, I wasn't surprised. I watched Retarded Animal Babies 6 one night, and came away thinking that guns are a really shit idea sometimes, and that wishing for beer for Christmas is pointless. I watched Super Parody Rangers when it came out, and saw that Kirbopher was set to be one big motherfucker. All these boasts I've made make me seem either like a fucked-up kid, (yes) a liar (no) and one wholesome patron of Newgrounds (no!)

I'll admit it, in the 9 years I've frequented this place, I haven't handed anything back to the community. I've submitted some shitty thing I made about a ball, which didn't work because I was young, and couldn't convert it into a swf. file properly, just as well, because it was crap. I tried to submit some shitty flash about penguins expolding, which was blammed with the quickest haste. The only time I've added to something on the BBS was when (cringe) I was a 'major person' in a ridiculous thread entitled 'Custom Pokemon Fusions'. I'll say I did it more because it was a good waste of time, and I liked some of the guys who were there, but I can't hide it. That, was shameful. I ended up Judasing the bunch of obnoxious prats who joined the bandwagon and ended up pissing off Mindchamber, and I remember distinctly one of them telling me he wanted me to die after I told them they fagged it up. In short, I jumped ship. I'll admit though, some good came of that thread. I found SeanJoystick, and his hilariously fucked up cartoons made with a childish candour mixed with meticulous racism and penis'. So yes, I've been a sick motherfucker, and I've done nothing good for Newgrounds, and to be honest, I'm sorry to you, the reader.

However, I will say a few things to do with the title. The first is the fact I came back here almost hourly somedays just to check out some new shit on the frontpage, or to kill someone on Assasin, or just to watch something funny I'd found before, and remembered. There's a variety here. You can go for the mindless entertainment, and watch a video game parody, or one of the many comedy series that have popped up here, or the more intelligent and serious from the Super Flash Bros, Adam, or There She Is!, or the various artists who make a more artistic statement, with series like Mr. Coo and the Alfred Alfer flashes, with which the creator, Emily Youcis, I have a lot of empathy and synopticism with, or the smaller, lesser known artists who make up the more interesting background to Newgrounds admittedly rampaging light-hearted, 13 year old parody-thon.

Despite all of that, my favourite part of Newgrounds, by far, is the Audio Portal. I don't end up there much, being a very fleeting internet user, but the sheer amount of talent and style sent out by the artists in the Audio Portal always leaves me inspired and gratified. I don't even care if most of the top 30 are all Video Game Songs, My ITunes used to be almost entirely Mario remixes from Newgrounds, so I can't complain.

On top of that, Newgrounds is just an awesome place. I've always felt the personal touches of Tom and his more-than-awesome crew of progammers even from the general interface, and I don't think anyone could mistake this for a corporate website, not due to quality, but the feeling of love poured into it.

In general, Newgrounds is awesome, you guys who may or may not read this are awesome, and I wish all of the people who have plucked up the balls to actually contribute to the community a whole deluge of success.

Thank you for taking your time.

Disclaimer: Despite being fucked up, I was a stickler for the rules, and perhaps knowledgable that if a 6-12 year old joined Newgrounds, they'd have the shit ripped out of them, so I refrained from joining until I was 13, when <EDIT>Dumbass Mario<EDIT> was too funny not to break the rules for.